dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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