Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
