So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize