On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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