just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
