**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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