Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
