I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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