when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
