C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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