their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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