Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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