shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She announced her abortion via fbk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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