I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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