Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
