so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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