thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
