trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
