i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
soo... how was my night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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