Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
