drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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