i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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