she was so not down for the gang bang
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
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