Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
