I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
