and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize