I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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