Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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