I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
