I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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