I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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