I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
