i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
