he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
