I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
