Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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