I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
