I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
