Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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