I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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