My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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