id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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