but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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