What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
