So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
