3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
