9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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