the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
