I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
