You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
