We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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