I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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