He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
