Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
