Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
