Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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