It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
be right there i have to get my cape
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
