wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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