Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
