Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
